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Do Boomers Listen When Gen Xers and Yers Talk

A blogger reacted to an article recently posted here saying, “Anyone who thinks Boomers aren’t resented by a large proportion of Gens X and Y is living in a dream world. But what else is new?” This was one among many other angry comments following “Generational Wars” and it struck me not only because of its biting sentiment, but because I felt myself reluctantly empathetic. Being a Boomer myself, it made me wonder: Are we in fact dreaming, or finding ways to discount and distort what this younger set is saying over and over? They are clearly angry and it might benefit us all if we took some time to just listen more carefully.
The article that provoked the blogger’s comment, in my opinion, gave him cause to bite back. It dismissed the schism between generations as “completely manufactured; A faux battle whipped up by provocateurs who find reason to pit eras against each other.” The author described Gen X and Y’s anger as a “red herring,” serving to deflect from the real issue, “Gerascopia,” the fear of aging. She asked, “Does anyone really think the Generations since are paying any attention to what the Boomers did or didn’t do?” Her answer: “Laughably, no! They don’t have time and, frankly, they don’t care.” At the risk of alienating Boomers who might resonate with this response, I have to say that I believe it perpetuates the perception of us that many find disturbing: a self-involved, chest beating and indifferent group.
While assigning labels to entire generations is not accurate or helpful, completely dismissing their issues isn’t either. Another comment, this one by a Boomer, validated Gen X and Y’s angst: “We have left a generation without jobs, health- care or a free college education, unlike most of the rest of the world. That generation should be called the ‘ninja’ generation. No job, no income. That’s our legacy, and we should be ashamed.” Clearly, branding one group as “Ninjas” or another as “Gerascophobic” is the kind name-calling that ignores how complicated we all really are. But, when strong, angry feelings are repeatedly expressed, there are usually good reasons for them. As Russell Bishop aptly wrote in a post last week, “Behind any criticism or complaint is the fact that the critic really wants something to be different.”
I recently wrote a piece here, True Boomer Power, addressing this issue. Its intent was to heighten my generation’s awareness of how we are viewed by others. I highlighted articles in the media that reinforced the perception (or misconception) that Boomers were self-involved and self-promoting and suggested we take actions to change that perception. Largely, it was a plea to work together with younger generations to deal with global issues facing us all. I placed the burden largely on the backs of Boomers, whom — by nature of our age, experience and numbers — I believe hold an important responsibility to those that follow. I received very strong reactions to that piece, too — and not just from the 50-and-older crowd. Some were thoughtfully written, from readers of all ages who understood where I was coming from. Many were passionate, even volatile — not unlike the comments following “Generational Wars” — from Boomers who felt defensive and Gen X’ers and Y’ers who felt deeply resentful.
These comments got me thinking. How can we understand this inter-generational hostility? What is the anger really about? Can it be explained simply as elderly crankiness or youthful rebelliousness, the kind we historically find between generations? Is it “manufactured,” as the aforementioned article suggests, simply to create drama for authors like me to write about? I suppose this back and forth emotional interchange fascinates me because I am a psychologist — trained to listen carefully, read between the lines and get to the bottom of things. Or maybe it’s just the optimist in me, who believes we can do better than react passively or reflexively to this generational conflict.

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