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The Economic Disparity of Childrens Mental Health Care

Seven-year-old Jarrod was a classic bully. He hit and kicked other children at school when he didn’t get what he wanted. He even bit one of his classmates for not giving him a toy. The principal and teacher at Jarrod’s school had been very patient with him because they knew that his parents had recently divorced. His mother was going it alone more or less as a single parent, with Jarrod’s father having only infrequent visitation. But now the parents of other children were starting to complain about Jarrod’s bullying, and his teacher thought he should be evaluated for ADHD or oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). A friend suggested to Jarrod’s mother that she try family therapy before seeking a medical evaluation. She checked with her health insurance and found that it would cover family therapy. That is how I met Jarrod and his family.
In the first 50 minute session, the root of the boy’s problem became clear. Jarrod confided to me that he was worried about his father because his father cried every time he had to drop him off at his mother’s house. “Daddy wants to spend more time with me and mommy won’t let him,” he continued. I started to get the picture. Jarrod’s parents had been through a messy divorce, and they were still squabbling over visitation. And, as often happens in this kind of situation, the parent’s hostility toward each other was affecting their son. A young child is closely connected to his family system, and a disturbance in that system can affect the child’s behavior and feelings in unexpected ways. Jarrod was feeling his father’s pain and acting it out toward everyone around him.
The path of therapy was clear cut. I would have to help the parents renegotiate their post-divorce parenting relationship to something more civil. I met first with Jarrod’s mother and a few days later with Jarrod and his father. I could see the joy on Jarrod’s face when he saw his father in my office. With tears in his eyes, the father explained that he missed his son terribly and wanted more time with him. He and his ex-wife could not communicate about the subject of visitation without getting embroiled in an unpleasant argument. He felt hopeless. In a separate session, I explained to Jarrod’s mother that the visitation issue was affecting her son’s behavior. I managed to get her to agree to Jarrod’s spending more time with his father.
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