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One Giant Step Toward Greater SelfConfidence Life Beyond Trying to Be Good Enough

Stop picking on yourself! We do this over and over, determined to be different, better, more enlightened, wiser, or whatever we’re criticizing ourselves for at the moment. It’s the old uphill battle. When are you ever going to be good enough? It’s time to say goodbye to your lack of confidence once and for all.
I’ll tell you how in a minute, but first, answer this question honestly: How long have you been trying to be good enough? My guess is that it’s been since you were about 8 years old. Of course, it’s not your fault; parents, teachers, friends, family and bosses have been doing their best to “set you straight” and help you to “make the most of your potential.”
But these good folks have long since stopped being to blame for how much you pick on yourself. As my dear friend Lew Epstein used to say, “That’s their way of loving you.” It’s you that translated their well-meaning remarks into a lifetime of trying to prove yourself.
The problem is your underlying assumption that there’s something wrong with you. Of course we all make mistakes, but that’s not the point. It’s not about being perfect or blameless. The answer is to forget about trying to be good enough. That’s a complete waste of your time!
Just think about it for a second. Imagine a drop-dead gorgeous car, recently off the assembly line, now sitting on the dealer’s lot — and picking on itself! I wish I were more like that Lexus over there. I ought to be red instead of black. What’s wrong with me? I’m just not good enough.
Ridiculous, isn’t it? But your spending so much energy trying to be good enough is just as stupid! Recently, long-time friend Morty Lefkoe blogged about how we came to be this way, and the huge cost to our relationships with others.
So, back to the question: are you ever going to be good enough? The answer is yes — you already are!
What can you do?
Take responsibility for your greatness (yes, you!) so that your life isn’t about becoming good enough; it’s about finding ways to use your special gifts to make a difference. Appreciating yourself is the first step toward giving yourself permission to be who you are and making the contribution you’re here to make.
Way beneath your habitual self-doubt, you want to make a difference with your life by making things better for your family, your friends, your community, your workplace — and beyond.
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