Are you confused between the difference between setting goals and being attached to outcomes? Learn the big difference between these two.
Many people experience confusion regarding the difference between setting goals and letting go of attachment to outcomes. A client and I were discussing being in the moment with her work, rather than stressing about the outcome. “Then how can you set goals for yourself? Everyone sets goals based on the outcome. Why else would you even set goals or try to accomplish anything?”
Setting goals is a very positive and powerful thing to do. Setting goals helps us take the loving action we need to take in our own behalf, to accomplish the things we desire to achieve.
However, setting goals and working toward accomplishing those goals is very different than attaching our happiness, worth and well being to achieving those goals. If we attach our happiness and worth to accomplishing our goals, then we will never feel happy until we have what we want. And, because most of us continue to create new goals once we accomplish our previous goals, this means never being happy or feeling worthy. As long as we attach our happiness and worth to accomplishing our goals, we can never be happy in the moment. There is always the proverbial carrot dangling in front of us, and we never reach it. No matter how much we have and accomplish, the carrot is always there. This is why there are so many successful people who are very unhappy and never feel that they are good enough.
Goals are wonderful, and achieving them is fun, but happiness is right now — being fully present with all that you have. Your sense of worth needs to be based on your intrinsic qualities — your goodness and ability to love, your compassion, caring, and understanding — rather than on achieving goals.
Attaching your happiness to outcomes is what causes distress.
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