
My youngest brother recently announced his engagement, and asked if I had any advice for him, since my husband and I recently celebrated our double-digits anniversary.
I thought for a moment and said, “Yes. Keep dating.”
There was a pause over the phone, and then he said, “Really? Are you sure? I thought that was one of those things, you know, that you give up when you get married . . . ?”
I hung my head and sighed. Patience, I thought. He’s a newbie.
“Not other people, you idiot,” I said gently. “Keep dating each other. Have a date night, like every Friday, and go out together.”
“Date my wife, huh?,” he said. “Okay. Right. Uh-huh. Do I have to, like, have her home by ten? Hahaha . . . date my wife . . . good one!” He hung up chuckling.
I knew he didn’t understand, and I knew that he wouldn’t, truly, until he’d been married for awhile and maybe had a child or two. He simply wasn’t at that point where romance and passion maybe don’t come as easily as they once did. And I also know that even when we’re at that point, understanding the concept isn’t necessarily enough, either.
For example, I crawled into bed the other night at ten o’clock. The kids were asleep, finally, after the requisite stories and arguments over teeth-brushing.
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