I’d like to thank my friends, family (especially my mom) and members of the Academy. Oh, wait. Wrong speech. No, seriously. My inaugural column for ‘Michael In the City’ was really a big hit. I never had so many Facebook comments, Tweets, text messages and BBM’s from everyone. And I realize why, it’s because I’m being brutally honest and not holding back. My recent columns are coming from my soul.
“Don’t you think you’ve pissed off a few people,” my old business partner asked me about my Art Basel coverage. My response was rhetorical. “Don’t you think I like pissing people off?? This column is about opinion.”
With that said, at a holiday party held at the house of my dear friend Melissa Sheppard, a new acquaintance Channing Norton (I swear I couldn’t make up that name if I tried — okay, maybe I could) tells me how much she likes my columns, but feels my morality is askew. “Michael,” she said with a sense of authority, “You know the reason you’re 40 and single is because you’re a slut.”
I did the gay finger snap. “First of all, I’m not 40,” I replied, half devastated. I really am close to that number, but still. I then inserted an indignant second finger snap. “Two, I am not wasting three dates only to find out a guy has a small penis. That’s never going to work for me.”
And so a lively dinner debate ensues, where I argue that a big brain and heart are as equally as important as a big package and that the quicker — and I don’t necessarily mean the first date — I gather evidence, the easier it is to draw a verdict if this is a case I should pursue. She rebuts with what I consider a lame fight: the more you make men wait, the more they want you.
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