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As reports continue to surface of gay teens taking their own lives — even among those who are trying to help others — we focus on passing laws, pressuring school administrators, challenging teachers and letting kids know that it gets better in the future.
All of that is important. But there’s something missing in our arsenal — at least in a prominent way — and that is self-empowerment and, yes, self-defense.
My father taught me how to fight — how to defend myself against threats and against physical attacks, but also how to feel confident — from as far back as I can

The three decades since mindfulness meditation was first found to help with anxiety, chronic pain and depression have seen the reversal of a trend that goes back over a century. When Freud founded psychotherapy as “a middle way between philosophy and medicine,” he took pains to keep it on the scientific side of the modern gulf between science and religion. He did this in part by basing his insights on evolutionary neurobiology, and in part by distancing his psychology from its sources in the spiritual philosophy of Romanticism.
Sadly, in cutting his “new science” away from its spiritual roots, he felt a need to jettison not just myth and ritual but contemplative states and practices too. Though spiritually minded analysts like Carl Jung warned this was throwing the baby out with the bathwater, Freud’s rejection of all things spiritual came to earmark mainstream

There’s nothing more awkward than to be the one southern black man in the room who says that he’s not quite sure about Christianity.No one attacks you for asking questions, they just “pray” for you.Some will talk to you like a mentally disabled 2-year-old who has never been taught to see the light.You might even get the crooked brow and pursed lips of concern, like they feel sorry for you or that your parents somehow didn’t raise you right.If only you could understand the consequences that come with thinking for yourself and questioning the ideas that have been accepted by everyone else around you, you might be better off.
It’s not a matter of being criticized for how you actually live.Rather, the penalty comes from your unwillingness to play the game, sort of like the teenage girl who actually admits that she likes having sex, instead of pretending that she’s a virgin to make her daddy feel better. While most of my devout church-going friends don’t openly attack me for having a unique perspective, they certainly feel that I’ve somehow been led astray.
When someone asked me how I feel about Christianity, I said, “I respect it.My father is a Baptist minister. When I do go to church, I choose a Christian church.But one concern I’ve always had is that Christianity has become a ‘get out of jail free’ card for those who are choosing to live an unethical existence. It doesn’t appear (to me) to be a true, untainted quest for spiritual clarity, but instead appears to be a club that you join if you want to get into heaven.”
I knew a man who was a thief, a liar, an adulterer and even a child

Boards, executives and compensation consultants hold an almost fanatical attachment to the expectations market because they believe that the job of management should be to maximize the long-term value of the firm and the current stock price is considered the best proxy for that long-term value. Hence, boards and executives assume that if they increase the stock price of the firm today, they have contributed to the maximization of long-term value. That thinking has led to the tying of compensation to stock price through grants of stock options and restricted stock, which in turn has led to the shift in focus of executives away from building real companies and toward the manipulation of investor expectations.
Critics of eliminating the focus on stock price and stock-based compensation fear that doing so would leave companies without ‘an objective function’ — something to guide their performance toward creating the value they are supposed to

This piece by Manon McKinnon at The American Spectator is so perfect an exhibit in pompous drug war cheerleading that one can construct a fairly comprehensive crash course in bad drug policy writing based entirely upon its contents. Let’s take a moment to review some of the tactics on display here, which may go a long way towards illustrating why modern drug war apologists have been losing traction in the growing public debate over American drug policy.
Step 1: Attempt to marginalize supporters of drug policy reform by claiming they are “pot heads.”
From the article:
This will get you off to an ugly start. Since recent polling shows that half the country supports marijuana legalization, you’ll immediately offend many of your readers by ignoring their legitimate public policy concerns and dismissing them as a bunch of self-righteous drug addicts. Huge numbers of non-users are interested in improving our approach to drug policy, so name-calling is a quick way to alienate well-meaning people and prove that you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Step 2: Frame legalization as a plan for “surrendering” or “giving up” and letting drugs defeat us.
From the article:
This is a good way to show that you don’t understand the opposing

The Kansas-sized country of Guyana, formerly known as British Guiana and the only English-speaking nation in South America, held elections on November 28, 2011, and voted in a new president, Donald Ramotar. This marked the end of 12 years in office for President Bharrat Jagdeo, under whose leadership Guyana became a global leader in calling attention to the incredible importance of tropical forests in the global battle to mitigate climate change. I would like to pay tribute to him here because what he has accomplished in the global arena has been truly exceptional and should be brought to the world’s attention.
I have been working in the Guiana Shield region of South America for 36 years now; as a rainforest specialist, I was attracted to this part of Amazonia because of its vast expanses of pristine rainforest, the largest extent of undisturbed rainforest anywhere in the world. Conservation International (CI) has had programs in Guyana and the neighboring country of Suriname since 1991, and we first met with President Jagdeo shortly after he took office in

Critics, mathematicians, scientists and busybodies want to classify everything, marking the boundaries and limits… In art, there is room for all possibilities. — Pablo Picasso
Once, right after I had given an assignment for a drawing class, a student asked me which side of her brain she should use to make the drawing. I suggested she use whatever she

Congratulations. If you are reading this article you’ve officially made it to the other side of the winter holidays. Give yourself a round of applause with the one functional hand you have left — you actually can clap with one hand, it just doesn’t sound as loud as you want and it looks a little funny, sort of like waving “bye-bye” to a 2-year-old.
Here you are, staring January square in the eye with nothing but the vast landscape of brief and cold days sprawling out in front of

I’m certainly no stranger to controversy.
I’m the spokeswoman for a lovely company called ToeSox, where I model yoga postures in their socks. Yup, you heard me. Just in their socks.
Needless to say, modeling in the nude is a surefire way to shake people

From, say, 3 to 5 p.m. the place to go in London if you want to spoil your dinner is one of the city’s grand hotels, where you may take afternoon tea. Yes, all-day restaurants such as The Wolseley and its new sibling The Delaunay are giving them a run for their money, as are stylish, low-key hotels in the Dean Street Townhouse mold. But for impressive surroundings, polished service and hefty silverware, no one does this peculiarly English meal like a peculiarly English

Think the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico has been tough to clean up?
Well, wait till it happens in the Arctic. For much of the year, the Arctic seas are covered with ice and impassable for oil-spill response ships — oil could gush unabated for up to eight months. The nearest Coast Guard facilities are 1,000 miles away, and any attempted cleanup would be hampered by ice, cold, hurricane-strength storms and blinding fogs.
Simply put, an offshore oil spill would spell disaster for pristine Arctic waters and for polar bears, bowhead whales, walruses, seals and other irreplaceable Arctic species.
And yet, that’s exactly the gamble President Obama is asking the United States to take. He’s poised to let Shell drill in the Arctic later this year — unless, of course, he can be persuaded not to.
The Arctic Ocean has always been largely off limits to offshore oil drilling because the drilling is too

This is one in a series of posts for HuffPost Culture’s “The Sundance Diaries,” a month-long multimedia diary kept by the international filmmakers whose 64 short films were selected for the 2012 Sundance Film Festival.
Before I could make “Dr Breakfast”, the short that got into Sundance, I had to figure out how to still find time for personal work in a world where bills gotta get paid.
After graduating from NYU in 2008, I was lucky enough to get a story internship at Blue Sky Studios, working on “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs.” Through school I put tons of effort into making my own projects, but now all my energy was being put into keeping this job. I worked really hard and pitched tons of dumb jokes that wiser storyboard artists probably wouldn’t have pitched. My life became lots of drawing that squirrel guy trying to get the acorn. You know, Scrat.
Everything was pretty awesome when they hired me after the internship, 2 months

By Kamren Curiel
I have to give props to Cali’s newest resident, Chuck D, who led the movement of politically-charged hip-hop in the 80s as front man of Public Enemy, and continues to fight the power today. He helped organize Freedom Now/Operation Skid Row on Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday to bring awareness to the ongoing homeless crisis in L.A. and beyond.
The festival was in conjunction with the release of a book he and his wife, Dr. Gaye Theresa Johnson, a Black Studies professor at the University of Santa Barbara, contributed to called Freedom Now! The book, a project of the Los Angeles Community Action Network, documents the struggle for housing equality and social justice from Skid Row to South Africa.
“Hip-hop has to make a statement,” Chuck D told the VC

Having boasted of his record number of “boots on the ground” along the US/Mexico border, Obama may now proudly conclude that at no time in our nation’s history have there been more hooves on the ground. The federal deployment of horses to the border coinciding with severe disciplinary actions against Border Patrol agents increasingly criticizing untamed border policies spinning wildly out of control is creating a rodeo of dramatic irony that would assail even the imagination of classic satirist George Orwell.
George Orwell’s 1945 satirical classic Animal Farm–about a group of farm animals that revolt against their human masters only to face corruption in the new order–has taken on a fresh relevance in 21st century US border security.
Last summer, the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) announced a unique “expansion” with Border Patrol in the federal deployment of prison inmate-trained horses to the already heavily militarized US/Mexico border. The news coincided with reports of Border Patrol firings of agents who simply raised critical questions about policy while on the job.
In 2007, when Border Patrol’s rapidly increasing “demand for horses outstripped” a Colorado prison’s “ability to supply it,” (through an suitably named “WHIP”–Wild Horse Inmate Program) BLM regional specialist Paul McGuire told me in a December 19 interview, new prisons were sought to create a “new supply” of the four-legged, “valuable tools” of border enforcement. Now utilizing multiple prisons across the US, this “ongoing” and “long-term” partnership expects to reach a supply of 150 horses by the end of next

The Hispanic community is in danger of losing its identity unless we give America reason to believe that we can trust ourselves and contribute to the revival of the US economy. Today, most Americans (including many Hispanics themselves) believe that Hispanics are a burden to the economy. They simply view the Hispanic community as an uneducated, leadership-less and fragmented community that brings the economy down. In fact, most of them believe that it just takes too much work to understand or create a relationship with the Hispanic community.
Indeed Hispanics are a complex, unpredictable

I’ve been covering the cruise industry for almost 20 years, written about how safe these behemoths are, visited over a dozen European shipyards and spent extensive time talking to cruise ship captains, ship builders and cruise line executives. So when the first photos of Costa Concordia appeared, to say I was stunned is an understatement. What I saw in news reports — a six year old half-submerged ship on it’s side a few feet from shore, reports of utter chaos when the order to abandon ship was announced and most of all, loss of life — are scenes I never thought I’d witness in the 21st century. People jumped into the water and swam ashore? No way until I saw it with my own

A woman I know — let’s call her Joan — recently took a leave of absence from work in order to focus on her son’s college search. “His choice of school will determine the outcome for at least the first part of his adult life,” she explains. “I want him to give him every chance to succeed.”
Joan isn’t talking about Stanford vs.

In November, I got a frantic call from a good friend in Dallas. My friend’s sister — a divorced mom with a teenage son — had lost her teaching job in the recession. She had been managing to keep all the financial balls in the air, but barely, and an unexpected back injury pretty much ended even that.
Her sister, said my 52-year-old friend, was in trouble. The bank was threatening to foreclose on her home mortgage of $62,000, which is less than the house is

There’s a very old saying: “Every time a marriage takes place, a new world is created.”
In 2012, does this sound impossibly quaint? Does it sound navely romantic?
We all know about the odds of divorce today. We’ve seen how little the marriage vows can mean in the Kardashian age. Indeed, a recent Pew Research poll shows that 39 percent of Americans now believe marriage is becoming “obsolete.” That’s up from 28 percent who felt that way in 1979.
And yet, at a small-town bridal shop in the American Midwest, I found reasons for hope — and I found a measure of magic.
As a journalist and the father of three girls, I set out last year to write a nonfiction book reflecting on the love we all wish for our daughters. I recognized that I needed a place to set the book, a place with great

A very Happy New Year! 2012 is going to be filled with tons of love, joy, and prosperity. We saw a lot of trends continue from 2010 into 2011, which included rustic landscapes, lots of pale, soft colors, a love of succulents, and more creativity in design than ever before. Vintage everything continued to rule, along with minimalist dcor, and small details incorporated into every aspect of a design. Photo booths with kitschy costumes, signature drinks, and couples holding signs with every type of saying for invites and thank-you’s ruled the

Source:Associated Press
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LOS ANGELES — Derek Fisher spent the last year wearing more suits than sweats while negotiating the union’s labor deal, and he realizes his peak playing days are probably past.But Kobe Bryant borrows a term from former coach Phil Jackson to describe anybody who doubts what the Lakers’ veteran point guard can do in the clutch.”That’s inherently idiotic,” he said.
More Mavs-Lakers Coverage
ESPN.comLamar Odom returned to Los Angeles, but an ugly game made you want to forget all about it., writes J.A. Adande. Daily Dime

Fisher hit a tiebreaking 3-pointer with 3.1 seconds to play and Los Angeles emerged from a dismal offensive game by both teams with a 73-70 victory over the Mavericks on Monday night, snapping Dallas’ five-game winning streak.Vince Carter missed a 3-pointer at the buzzer for the defending champion Mavericks, who swept Los Angeles out of the second round of the postseason last spring, ending the Lakers’ bid for a three-peat.Neither team looked much like a championship contender in their first meeting since, with 3½ miserable offensive quarters before the exciting finish keyed by Fisher, who added another line to an overflowing list of late-game heroics.”This is what I do,” Fisher said. “When opportunities like that present themselves, I’m confident in my ability to step up and make the right play. I’ve been fortunate in my career to come up with some of those big plays.”Fisher scored nine of his 13 points in the fourth quarter, leading a 10-0 run midway through the period before the Mavericks rallied to tie it on Jason Terry’s running jumper at the top of the key with 9.9 seconds left.Bryant, whose streak of four straight 40-point games ended with just 14 against the Mavs, drew the Dallas defense before passing to Fisher. The veteran point guard calmly drilled a long 3-pointer from the wing.
More on the Lakers
For more news, notes and analysis of the Lakers, check out the Land O’ Lakers blog from the Kamenetzky Brothers. Blog
“We made the decision to get the ball out of Bryant’s hands, and we just didn’t get to (Fisher) in time,” Dallas coach Rick Carlisle said. “Our full intention was to rotate to him, but he got the shot off quick and he shot it high, so we couldn’t get to it. But he made a great shot. In that situation, you’ve got to live with that decision. And it’s tough.”Carter’s desperation try was far off, and the Lakers celebrated their ninth consecutive home victory since Christmas.Dirk Nowitzki scored 21 points for the Mavericks, but committed a crucial traveling violation with 38 seconds left in their first loss since Jan. 5. Lamar Odom scored 10 points in his return to Staples Center, where he won two championships before the Lakers abruptly traded him to Dallas last month.Andrew Bynum had 17 points and 15 rebounds for the Lakers, who have won six of seven overall despite barely scoring 70 points — the franchise low in the shot-clock era, set in November 2002.Bryant had scored at least 40 points in each of his past four games, but the NBA’s leading scorer didn’t even score until midway through the second quarter.”I like the fact that if we don’t score, we can still win games,” said Mike Brown, the Lakers’ defense-minded new coach. “Hopefully our guys understand that we can win ugly games, we can win pretty games, we can win high-tempo games. However you want to bring it, we can get down that way.”Two elite NBA franchises might have showed the strain of the NBA’s compacted schedule, or the excitement of the playoff rematch — or maybe they both just stunk.
More on the Mavericks
News, notes and analysis of the Mavericks from ESPNDallas.com’s Jeff Caplan, Tim MacMahon and our team. Blog

Airballs, turnovers and missed assignments dominated play, which included a seven-point third quarter by the Lakers and 35 percent shooting by the Mavericks, who extended their string of exceptional defensive performances.Pau Gasol, whose struggles in last year’s playoff series played a huge role in the Lakers’ losses, had just eight points on 3-of-11 shooting, while Dallas’ Jason Kidd went 0 for 8 on 3-pointers and Terry was 2 for 9 from the field until his tying basket.”Man, we’re setting records — both ways, probably,” Kidd said. “I thought we were competing at both ends, but sometimes you’ve got to make shots in this league, and we just couldn’t do it tonight. It was one of those NFC kind of games — just hand off the ball and run. It was just an ugly game.”At least the Lakers have their first chance to recover from the lockout-compacted NBA schedule: After matching the league high with 15 games in 23 days, Los Angeles has consecutive days off for the first time this season before Thursday’s game at Miami.Odom said it was “surreal” to be in the visitors’ locker room at Staples Center, his home for the past seven seasons. He got a lengthy standing ovation when he entered the game midway through the first quarter, and the Lakers played a video tribute on the scoreboard.”Actually, it gave me energy,” Odom said. “I’m still trying to get my rhythm back. I’m still getting in shape, and once I get there, then I’ll be able to help this team. In order for me to succeed, you have to move on, no matter what, and I plan on succeeding in this next chapter of my life.”Game notes Carter limped off the court after missing the final shot. He will be re-evaluated Tuesday. Dallas is staying in Los Angeles to face the Clippers on Wednesday night. … Fans near courtside included Chris Tucker, Don Cheadle and boxing trainer Freddie Roach.
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Links:Full news story
Source:espn.go.com

Note: The following contains spoilers if you have not seen Season 16, Episode 3 of ABC’s “The Bachelor.”
I began rolling my eyes roughly three minutes into last night’s episode of “The Bachelor,” fearful that the show was losing steam early into the season. It’s week three and Ben already has Emily, who is studying to secure her PhD in germaphobia, scaling the steep incline of the Golden Gate Bridge. Not a single viewer watching was surprised to learn that Emily had a fear of heights and the process of overcoming this fear with Ben is a direct metaphor for their nonexistent relationship. Both blabbed on about “getting through this” and “overcoming challenges together will make us a stronger unit” and Emily even went above and beyond this tired scenario by saying that “bridges bring two things together.”
I took a sip of my beverage of choice and wondered if the producers scripted that line so this date wouldn’t sound exactly like Jake and Vienna’s bungee jumping adventure however many seasons

1. Because I know having two beautiful, healthy children to care for is the biggest privilege I’ve ever been given and for that fact alone I should never, no way, no how, allow myself to feel the intense rage that wells up in me at least once a day many days between the hours of 3:30 and bedtime.
2. Because I also know that I should be on my knees thanking God every day for being able to kiss my 4 year old’s squishy cheeks instead of cursing under my breath wondering what led a college educated woman into a life where I spend a not insignificant amount of time on my knees chasing run away macaroni elbows and cheese stick wrappers when I’m not earnestly trying to get formerly white socks white again.

I remember the first time I uttered the words “I love you” to a boy. I surprised him with a visit to his college for the night, which in retrospect is something you should never do to a 21-year-old fraternity guy. He handled my little surprise visit with grace, never letting on to me until later years that he had a girlfriend on campus wondering about his mysterious disappearance that night. He took me down to the dark and musty basement he was living in, told his roommates to cover for him and we drank cheap beer from the can and talked like the old high school