Family counselor, Waldorf educator and public school trainer Kim John Payne, M.Ed., says that when he would take on a new client, he’d often offer them a choice between a year of therapy, or having him spend just one day at their house.
“Many of today’s behavioral issues come from children having too much stuff and living a life that is too fast,” Payne says. “I would visit from breakfast to bedtime; I helped the parents simplify their routines and lives, and very often the parents [would] see an improvement in their child’s behavior within days.”
Payne has traveled through Asia and Africa, helping families devastated by AIDS or war. He says children in Western countries have many of the same stresses, but for opposite reasons.
“The children in the developing world often have had negative sensory overwhelm, and we give our children sensory overwhelm here — too many trinkets, too many choices, too much information — and this causes a cumulative stress issue in kids,” he says.
Next month, Payne will come to my town, Encinitas, Calif., to speak about his book, “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids.” At the event, he’ll help parents create a “Simplicity Menu” for their family by breaking the routine down into five layers: simplify the environment (books, toys, etc.), meal times, food, schedules and information.
Payne asks that parents see childhood as an unfolding experience, not an enrichment
